what about esoteric?

First improv dance class in almost a year, I left with the word "esoterica" rattling around my brain. I thought I made it up, but the dictionary said its real.


Es-o-te-ric-a. Things understood or meant by a select few.
"a" from the latin, a pluralizing suffix.
esoterica
curiosa
judaica

knew I would remember this body esoterica, but I surprised myself with how intensely- skill sets, cues, silent language. First half of class, paired with someone much more learned, I was nervous to prove myself. relieved when I recognized esoterica cues, but nervous to use them, to be seen as a by-the-rules-beginner. In this method: if I lean this way you are supposed to roll that way. why? you don't have to, but it works, thats why.

Second set: partner much less studied than me. We end up a mess, he misses all the cues, but I am much more excited.

What is the use of this cultivated knowledge, related on itself? Art is like that, too, the taught understanding of how things are supposed to be looked at, what certain choices are meant to mean.

I spend spare moments today thinking about this- what do I do with self-generated creative languages, histories? Art languages, dance traditions, pedagogies. Is it okay to be a dabbler, to take a little bit of traditions and synthesize in to my own? is this creative or non-commital?

I am not in general a seeker of moderation, but I think this question breaks my rule.